Tuesday, December 18, 2012

7 Great Ways to Destroy Your Marriage Over the Holidays!

'Tis the season of holiday stress and strain. Are you worried that you might actually make it through the holidays with your marriage intact? Fear not!! Here are 7 ways to guarantee that your marriage will suffer this holiday season, and crash and burn for the new year!


  1. Go to as many holiday activities and family festivities as you possibly can. As long as you are busy and don't take time to enjoy the season with your spouse, nothing else matters. Busy, busy, busy!
  2. When you are with your parents and family, ignore your spouse. Christmas is about family, not your spouse anyway, right? If you want to add some spicy stress goodness, make sure you discuss politics whenever possible. Or how bad your sex life is. 
  3. Talk with your family and friends about your marriage problems, especially your spouse's issues. Christmas is about sharing, so share away. This inconsiderate openness will surely deal a holiday blow to your marriage. 
  4. Buy whatever you want. It's Christmas time! This is what credit cards are for. I mean, debt is a great way to screw things up in your marriage, so spend away.
  5. Make your traditions more important than your spouse's traditions. Nothing says "I love you" during the holidays like sharing in each other's traditions. So make sure that you laugh off your spouse's silly old traditions. Add a little sarcasm or good old fashioned contempt, and your marriage is sure to suffer!
  6. Don't talk about concerns or issues that may arise. The holidays are no time to discuss issues! Bottle it up and let it explode at a later, more inconvenient time. 
  7. Don't take time for yourself. The holidays should be about sacrificing your own sanity and health for others. Plus your irritable mood will rub off on your spouse. There will be plenty of time to relax next year after the divorce.
If this post sounds a bit too close to reality, it may be time to reconsider your priorities. Or maybe a little therapy...

Merry Christmas, and have a Happy New Year!!

-The Marriage Doc